Reality TV

For most of the last few years, I have been spending lots and lots of time alone in my apartment, after being diagnosed with Ovarian cancer, and enduring the years of various Chemo treatments, while working from home, and still not used to it. I live in a void of sorts.
I am still not happy about giving up my very cool and beautiful office in Union Square, (turns out to be a blessing in disguise after all) but it leaves me locked away in my apartment, sometimes not seeing anyone for days on end. So I watch Lots of TV, bored with the predictable, garden variety of drivel that populates Prime time, I got hooked on Reality TV!
I love the "aliveness" of it. Sometimes I watch Home Shopping too, just because the shows are aired live. I know there is some chick, in a sound stage somewhere, talking this talk, right now as I watch. Its a false sense of companionship, in a way.


There is a scene in "Bethany Getting Married", where Bethany and her new husband and child are sharing a tender moment in the back of a taxi on the way home from the hospital where she recently gave birth. They are confessing how happy they are, and suddenly realize that they are each in the exact spot within their current life situations with each other. They each have no siblings, or close friends that have kids, or anyone close in their circle to even share it with, (forgetting for the moment the woman has a reality show AND is sharing it with a world of strangers) Point being, there were no kids in their immediate realm — no siblings, or relations living close by (without taking a plane or losing a day to travel). They were alone within in these new complex emotions, and daily rituals of parent hood with no one in their immediate circle that could really relate to them now.


It resonated with me so keenly I started crying, knowing full well these tears have nothing to do with Bethany or babies.