The Mist

I was not designed to be alone!

so, do I manufacture cancer to do the job for me,

like some sick cosmic joke?

Manufacturing the thing I fear,

creating the environment for it to flourish?

The feelings are eating me from the inside out,

especially after a bunch of days with my head in a bucket

Not even water will serve to calm or sustain,

all is rejected.

Body pain so bad I can't stand up.

tick tock. Many days in a row,

There they go.

Watching this happy, hippy, U-tube chick

tout the values of being alone today.

I could not feel any more opposite.

I have never gone to the movies alone,

or to dinner,

or lunch.

Nor have I sat in a library,

or ate at a counter.

I would never go to the woods alone

for any reason

Alone is a penance to pay

I think

until you give up

and can be alone

and be ok about it

with your last breath

finally.